Where is that adarsh gone away

There was this concept called adarsh, the concept that was a conundrum to everybody including himself, a concept that stood for his ideals, his dreams and his loves. he faught tooth and nail for his beliefs, believed he was there to make a difference in this place called earth, do something that was never done before, to forge a new path where there had been none, to say and do things never done before where is that boy gone.

Here is a poem i had written when i was in a similar mood long time ago

There were dreams i would dream when i was seventeen
words i would say which would move my day
hopes that would change every way
ones that would change the world today
and now as i sit by the grave
hoping i had another day hoping i had another day hoping i had another day

The world was a ship on its way
the rudder was a tool for me to play
i would take her where i wanted to go
show the world what it means to know
and now as i watch people show me the way
hoping i had another day hoping i had another day hoping i had another day

Where is the boy with the dream gone away
the innocent charm and ideals to bare
the one who wanted to fight his way
have a lot of fun and seize the day
and now as i feel them all washed away
hoping i had another day hoping i had another day hoping i had another day

Dreamt i could change the world someday
thought my country would need my change
tried to change my families way
never never did i change my own sway
and now that nothing has ever changed
hoping i had another day hoping i had another day hoping i had another day

I wish i had changed a year yesterday
same i would think a year today
waiting for change to change my way
all along i had my cards to play
and now that i have lost my way
hoping i had another day hoping i had another day hoping i had another day

well how true to form i feel when ever i read this poem i have written, well there was a matter of pride in the i have written, but thats about it, i havent gone anywhere after that.

i could write, i could play, i could code, i could invent, i could philophosize, i could make music, i could manage, i could dance......
all i am now is a reputation of the reputation i could have made, that was one thing i never wanted to do and thats what i am stuck doing, isnt that sad, well what can i say.....

Things to ponder

If you want someone to learn something, dont give them the answer to anything immediately. Let them think for a while on their own, especially for children, it develops their brain, they might come up with the wrong answer but its the thought process you have to correct not just the result. Like the adage goes, give a man a fish and he will come back for more, teach him how to fish and he wont bother you for life.

Dreams

I am troubled by dreams, I say troubled because I dont think I am sleeping well because of them. Say I sleep at 12 and wake up at 7 expecting 7 hours sleep, but dream for 1-2 hrs then I am just sleeping 5-6 hrs. I thought it would be useful to blog my dreams to chronicle my dreams. Sometimes I go through complete stories, I wish I could remember them for sometimes I wake up with the complete story except the climax. Sometimes its a thriller, if I had written a story for every interesting dream I had, I would have a book by now.
what are dreams, they might be the subconscious extensions of us, maybe not, because I am just an observer in many of my dreams. Are they fantasies, again when I am not even inolved in my dreams where does fantasy come into play. sometimes there are huge battles, epics, sometimes they are murder mysteries or dramas.
I was readin somewhere that there are many kinds of sleep, and its actually healthy to dream, I need to do some more research on that.

Dreams are still an enigma to me

Tempered Spirit

I saw american beauty yesterday night, a beautiful movie. That set me thinking, what would I miss the most if I died right now, for a person who always lived for the moment, with a slogan of "no regrets" I have many regrets. I wish I had spent more time with my brother, more time with my parents and my relatives. I wish I had done more in terms of career money fame sports and love. I think I fight less now than before, I submit to the world as if I were a tempered spirit. Where is the boy with the dreams gone away, where are the high hopes, where are the dreams and ideals I fought for. Where is the boy who challenged the world, where is the that boy.........

We start of life as a sponge soaking everything. We are the little child devouring the world with all the senses it has; touch, sight, sound, taste and smell. All the receptors work over time, imbibing all they can. a We were the same person asking questions, questioning everything, why is the sky blue, who is that guy, why do we goto temple, where did I come from, why is she old, what is death, why should I drink milk, when willI get my own car, how does that work............ As we grow up we lose that inquisitiveness, the feeling of "there is no use in finding that out" sets in. I dont know what we do afterwords. Zombie life is what I call it, from the no rules world of children, we submit to all the rules society places on us. See but dont touch, touch but dont taste, taste but dont feel, and while we are jumping from one foot onto another, somebody out there is laughing their sick head off. Maybe things become more complicated, and things just stop making sense. Somebody could explain the fourier laplace transform and for the life of me it woudnt change one neuron in my body. The feeling "I am not cut out for those things" sets in, maybe I am not supposed to be an einstien, maybe I cannot be a Jordan, maybe I cant be the seceretary genral of UNO. Am I doomed to walk around with an amputated spirit, making conquests which simple dont matter......

There are so many things I wish I would be doing, writing my book of short stories, writing songs, writing poetry, making music, dancing, playing sports, researching genes, writing the enxt killer app, re-defining science politics philosophy religion ethics and love. what a waste life has been in those regards. Nothing has been pursued to perfection
more later

First Post - Random Ideas

There are these homeless people in Chicago, selling "street wise" paper which basically is a set of articles, they can sell and get money instead of begging etc. Well there was this old woman selling them and I felt bad for her and bought a paper from her for a dollar, she said thank you for even looking at me and that started me thinking, why is it that poor people are always bad to look at. Would the sale of streetwise jump up if we had scantily clad or even some beautiful girl selling street wise, now coming to think of one, that would be cool. I bet the sales of street wise would perk up (nice perky things those), why some guy would even go up to her and say, are you home less, i am home more, i want to share, we could even do cute guys for the girls and gay people. Stupid as this thought might seem, it might be worthwhile to try having a beautiful beggar vs an ugly beggar. I read this book by rohinton mistry sometime back "A Fine Balance" where the beggarmaster actually searches for disfigured and ugly people as they get more alms, but would the other way round work?

Walking down Clark St another idea struck me, to introduce bullock carts as a novel family transport on the streets of chicago. Its a great bio friendly transportation vehicle, the whole family can enjoy, no problems of DUI etc, unless you get the bull drunk, what sort of sick guy would get his bull drunk, I mean isnt it a huge waste of alcohol. The bull could be the designated driver, it would take the take the guy home when he is drunk, this wonderful thing would solve the energy crisis, the middle east problem, alcohol related accidents, and what not.

On that note, I think the future is self driving carts, maybe machine driven, it reads your destination or you could key it in and it will automatically take you there. Its like transporting data packets in todays networks, the cart would take which ever route available (shortest estimated time to destination) and get you to your destination, we can move tansportation off the streets. This would lake care of accidents, traffic jams, angry drivers and other driving related problems. These carts could seat single passengers or a group, its almost like a cab, but smaller, like an automatic pod, three dimensional in travelling dimension and faster.

ofcourse teleprotation is DA BOMB, thats the ultimate goal......

Why Blog, Lessons In Life

I love writing, and I am a man of ideas, some stupid, some clever, some witty and some truly ingenious. This blog will chronicle my ideas, ideas I have every day. I feel they are worth capturing and henceforth I shall capture them. I do not have a theme, hence this blog will be have my random thoughts.

The first blog will be a repository for lessons I learn in life, from small thigns and big things, from people around me and from me. Hopefully I shallr emember the good and the bad for the right reasons.

) If you take some ones help, show them your gratitude, not subservience just genuine thanks. If you borrowed something from them dont ever disappear on them. Be a good helped or nobody will help you again.
) Sometimes unknown people ask for small favours, remember to fulfill them, dont be lazy and forget them, especially kids, it will remain to haunt you for life
)Keep in touch with friends, even if it is just dropping an email once in while, similarly reply to peoples emails even if it is just to acknowledge them, they feel ignored otherwise
) Be careful what you say when you are not in control of yourself, angry,drunk, sad happy...
) apologize if you feel it will clean up a wound, no point carrying the self around
) If you are hanging out in a group of friends with multiple languages try to talk in a common language
) If you go out with some friends, the idea is to spend time with those friends not to do what you always do to have a good time
) If you go out with your friend, never show them in bad light, if they do something wrong chide them in private, never in public